The last few weeks have proven to be miraculous breakthrough for me and my family. However, the biggest breakthrough has been what I now believe about God. I have a whole new way to pray, believe, and receive.
The biggest miracles have been the following three scripture passages:
- Psalm 20
- Hebrews 4:10
- Hebrews 12:10
Story #1: The House (with pictures)
To give a little exposition, my husband and I were separated for three years while I took care of our two kids, worked full time, and took online classes. My husband was pursuing his dream of becoming a Physical Therapist. It was hard on him being away from his family and hard on us when he was away. We would go weeks and sometimes months without seeing each other, and when we did see each other, it was for a day or two. When your spouse is gone this much, you have to compensate for their absence. You become the provider, sustainer, disciplinarian, advisor, etc. The simple in life becomes hard when this dynamic occurs. It was a very difficult time. I saw tons of love from our community and family, but it was hard. What got me through it was…get this…looking at houses. Late at night when homework was done and kids were in bed, I would look on Redfin or Realtor.com. It was my way of dreaming…coping. I would imagine a time when our family would be together. I even would draw houses. I got on SketchUp and designed houses. I did this as a kid because I always wanted to be an architect, so I get why I withdrew to this behavior in this trying time. I was imagining and playing like a kid would in their bedroom for a tea party or at a school house with their stuffed animal students. I had to find a reprieve from it all.
but I forgot to pray for more. I was praying prayers of resignation not prayers of confident hope.
My husband graduates and he gets a job! Yeah. It was all worth it, right? Well, we had massive student loan debt from his loans and mine. I got a Master of Divinity at the time too. So, we go to get financed for a house and they say we don’t qualify because of our debt-ratio. We worked to get ahead to find out that all three years was just going to keep us in the same 600 sq. ft. house.
So we wait…
How selfish is that? We had a roof over our head, healthy children, and we were together. But…I cried. Giving up the child-like dream of a house was a hard thing to release. My prayer request was that God would give me gratitude and contentment for what I had. God answered that prayer, but I forgot to pray for more. I was praying prayers of resignation not prayers of confident hope.
Months passed and we were in the lender’s pipeline. The pandemic continues to surge, as well as the housing market.
While at work, I get an email that the guidelines for a certain loan program had changed as of September 1, 2021 and that we could perhaps qualify with our current student loan debt. I get a pre-approval letter that was shocking. It was an amount that honored our hard work and the future of whatever God wanted to do in the lives of our kids. I cried. But this time, it wasn’t tears of one who had resigned, but one who was reconsidering the doubt. I guess you could say, I was shocked out of my doubt.
So we work diligently to get our house on the market. It gets a contract in 2 days for $11,000 over what we put it on the market for. I can’t say I have a ton of faith at this point for miracles, but I am opening my heart more. I know this at this point: God loves me and wants to bless me. But I can’t say that my faith is even the size of a mustard seed. This is after we get an amazing offer on our current house. The same house that I bought three years earlier when I didn’t know how to raise 2 kids without my husband. I just knew we needed a place to live. My kids needed a home and now this home would be seed for a home, neighborhood, and community they truly deserved.
It was now time for us to go and find a house of our own. I knew this market better than most realtors. After all, I was obsessed with looking at homes. My husband and I are on the same sites I looked at for years and see a blue three-story with a front porch, huge backyard, and close to the beach. I got to the fourth pic of 42 pics and asked my lender for a pre-approval letter. I get on the front porch at 5:30 pm the next day and know it’s our house. I had this gut feeling before I entered the house. I was in a fog of sorts. I was living the daydream and it felt like an out-of-body experience. There was a haze to my vision. I thought to myself on that Wednesday evening, “This is what euphoria feels like.” My husband and I put it an offer that night. Before he sent the offer, I asked if I could send a letter to the owners. We determined based on their home decor that their last name was the same as ours. I wanted her to know our story. I wrote this letter:
I don’t have a lot of faith. I am just wishing that this could be our home. The next night I am in my feels. I have no faith that this is possible. The Lord moved in. I think he was eager to bless me, but He had to change the way I thought. He tells me to go to Psalm 20. Here is what it says in the message version.
Look at verse 5. “May all your wishes come true.” Don’t forget…verse 4…”Give you what your heart desires, accomplish your plans.”
This is the big issue I had with Psalm 20 and God. God is not some genie that makes our wishes come true, nor are we to make our lives about our plans. This did not sound like humility or selflessness. This seemed like a dangerous prayer.
Then I hear God say, “Is my word not true?” Can’t argue with that? So I stopped resigning to a fate of not enough and opened my heart to crazy hope.
The next night, Friday night, I get this screenshot…
“…the letter was a big part of it.” Huh? Psalm 20 did all that. They want us. They had tons of showings and they chose us. My husband and I went crazy. My kids went crazy. I was in awe…
But…we still had to ratify. Everything was verbal at this point. Nothing was ratified. We needed a PICRA. That is just an agreement that the seller will make the agreed repairs before the final walk-through prior to closing. We had an inspection, but no PICRA. Mind you, I am the realtor. We were selling our own house so I needed to make sure that we had a PICRA. I could lead in my anxiety or with Psalm 20. Was I going to “cease from my own works” and “labor to enter His rest” like Hebrews 4:10 says. Or, was I going to push and demand my success? I am at work on a Saturday and I am listening to worship music as I prep for our church services. I hear this subtle suggestion to send a text to the buyer’s agent that asked about the PICRA. It was worded in a way that felt professional and appropriate. The agent responded and put more emphasis on the PICRA. It happened relationally despite my desperation. When I told the owner’s of the house we wanted to buy that the PICRA was close to being provided and ratified, I get this screenshot from our realtor…
Turning away so many people…antsy…ouch…I had a feeling that their faith in us and a letter was starting to waiver.
I felt that He was writing a story and I was the main character.
They had faith. I knew in my gut that I had to put some pressure on the situation, but I had to do it in a way that wasn’t going to derail the negotiation on both ends. All I had now was Psalm 20 and Hebrews 4, but I had the Holy Spirit in charge now. I was leaning into His strength. My faith was expanding. I am starting to believe that God was calling the shots and I was His ambassador. I started to believe He wanted to bless me. I felt that God was trying to author my faith. I felt that He was writing a story and I was the main character.
I felt His ideas coming. I felt His creativity commanding the writing process. He was the muse.
It is Sunday and no PICRA. It’s 7:15 pm and I check my phone. It’s a text from the buyer’s agent that a PICRA had been sent. I signed it. My husband signed it. It was reasonable. Monday am and they hadn’t sent us a legal document saying that they agreed to our terms and wanted us to buy the home, but I did get this…
We have not ratified anything legally and they wanted us to have a playground and a cat.
Do you know how much I wished for a playground for my kids for 3 years? I even tried to make them a playground with an old tire swing frame we had when I bought the current house we are selling now. My husband wanted an outdoor cat for years because he grew up with outdoor cats. He didn’t want an indoor cat, just an outdoor cat. He wished for a cat. I wished for a playground. I wished for a house. Before the home was ratified legally, I was verbally promised a house, playground, and cat.
I had verbal promises but nothing ratified.
Tuesday am, I am telling our church staff this same praise report that you are reading now and I get an email of a ratified contract. Immediately, I hear God say, “I ratified that with my blood at the cross.”
WHHHHHAAATTTTTT! Do you see it? The Word of God is a ratified contract of Psalm 20. Hebrews 4 is the way you receive what you believe, and Hebrews 12:2 is where your faith comes from. He authored and finished my faith prior to receiving the ratified contract. He authored and finished my faith.
Hebrews 11:1 says in the Amplified:
Now faith is the assurance (title deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen [the conviction of their reality—faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses].
“Title Deed”….I had the “title deed” of faith before I had the actual deed to my house.
Story #2: BTS Concert Tickets (with pictures)
I love BTS. Love them. True ARMY. Have a membership to prove it. I love JIMIN, j-jope, Jungkook, Jin, SUGA, RM and V.
They are so incredibly important to me and what God is doing in me. Their message of authenticity and loving yourself has brought incredible breakthrough in my life. Before you laugh, look at the lyrics of their song “Love Yourself” in English.
Any time they do new music or host a VLive or comment on Weverse, I am paying attention. My boys are now fans and I am trying to convert my husband. If you didn’t know, they put their world tours on hold due to COVID and were only doing online concerts. But…they announce in late September that they are doing a 4 day concert in LA. Tickets would go on sale to the general public on 10/9/21. There were 4 pre-sale opportunities but I was only eligible for 2. I somehow made a mistake registering for the ARMY pre-sale and was waitlisted for the Ticketmaster Verified Fan sale. My only hope was the general public sale.
On the morning of the day the tickets would go on sell to the general public, I went running on the beach. I hate to run, but I love the time I have with nature and God when I run. If you don’t know anything about BTS, the fandom is called ARMY. A way that BTS honors their fandom and beloved ARMY is with purple hearts. V once shared “I purple you.” and that is what started it all. This is just a heartfelt way of saying that they love ARMY. You may see purple balloons in music videos. These balloons are fun ways to give a nod to their fans. It is a way of saying “I love you, ARMY. We are thinking about you.”
It is the day of the ticket sell and the day I am supposed to get a signed PICRA. I have the promise of a house and concert tickets but no legal or tangible evidence. I am running on the beach and in my heart with no faith or confidence. I have bought a flight to LA already. I am just hoping against hope (Romans 4:18. )
My pastor’s wife says this, “God thinks every day is Christmas Day. He can’t wait for you to wake so He can watch you open up gifts of blessing.”Jen Villarreal
Then on the edge of the sand, I see this…
A purple balloon..just for me. Not from BTS but from a God who wrote Psalm 20:5.
A God who makes wishes come true.
At this point, my faith for the house and for BTS tickets is authored and finished. I know a God who loved me and sent me a gift of love. In the same way that BTS sends love nods with purple balloons, my Abba Father sent me a purple balloon. My pastor’s wife says this, “God thinks every day is Christmas Day. He can’t wait for you to wake so He can watch you open up gifts of blessing.”
I was giddy. I picked up that sandy balloon and put it in my car. My mom said, “um…why do you have a sandy balloon in your car.” I answered, “…because God loves me that much.” My mom was like 🤨.
So…at this point…I know Psalm 20 can’t happen without Hebrews 4. So I rest but I labor in rest. I go on Reddit, Twitter, IG, and Facebook looking for concert tickets. Ticketmaster has them for 6-7x face value. A nosebleed seat in the 500’s that was a $60 ticket during pre-sale is now $500-800. ARMY was hurt and upset. I was one of those people. Forget getting a floor seat. Prices ranged from $8,000-$43,000. Scalpers and greedy season ticket holders who don’t even know who BTS is were inflating prices. You couldn’t trust anyone on Twitter or Reddit or Facebook who were selling because they could be scammers. ARMY even had a google spreadsheet documenting the profiles and handles of scammers. A concerted effort was being formed to shut-down the inflation and scam. But, for someone like me who only had a balloon, a deflated balloon at this point, the chances seemed remote, impossible. Yet, that balloon seemed to be enough. He had already given me a house, playground and cat. Why couldn’t I have BTS tickets? I wanted floor seats but it would cost the down payment on our house to get one.
I got this idea to go on Facebook one night and look at one of the groups for ticket resale. I see a post from another ARMY that is offering all of the things that prove she is true ARMY. She met the checklist of not being a scammer. I kid you not, I felt God gave me the idea to send a PM to her that included song lyrics. I knew it was a long shot. At this point, I had DM’d 100’s of people. I have a tweet that says “DM’d you” that has been seen 410 times as of this morning. This particular person had received at least 50 comments on two of her posts and no telling how many PM’s. Yet…I sent her a private message.
And she responded. OMG! She was the most amazing person. We had so much in common. I thought…if she chooses someone else to give this ticket to then at least I met someone who loves BTS and I could share our love for art, Jesus, and k-pop together. I didn’t know if I was her choice but she did say that she would get back with me on Thursday because she was super busy with school.
Thursday am comes. I am checking Messenger and later in the afternoon, I get a message:
She chose me. Just like the house people. I was chosen. Why choose me out of so many showings for a beautiful home? Why choose me out of SO many people wanting concert tickets? Why choose me?
That’s why! I am chosen by God.
I went from this…
I got floor seats. Yesterday, this same ticket ranged from $3000-8000 and I got it at face value because of one girl’s kindness.
I think I have learned this simple truth.
God loves me and He wants to bless me. My job is to believe that and allow nothing else to complicate the simplicity of His love.
What are you wishing for?